The Republic of News Schoorbion is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-working population of 10.567 billion News Schoorbionians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.3%.

The strong News Schoorbionian economy, worth 488 trillion lire a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is 46,263 lire, with the richest citizens earning 6.4 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, surveillance cameras are banned, and it is illegal to make racist remarks in public. Crime is moderate. News Schoorbion's national animal is the beaver, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

News Schoorbion is ranked 122,331^st in the world and 1^st in Saarland for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.